Free Beer Didn't Do It - How About Gas? Honey Dill? Pierogies?

Manitoba is, by all accounts, one of the most 'unique' places in North America to live. Boasting an exceptionally broad temperature range of roughly 90 degrees Celsius on any given year, the province's capital city of Winnipeg is certainly not for the faint of heart: it's for those up for a vicarious challenge. It's for someone like Barry Trotz. A Manitoban through and through, what better landing spot for the 59-year-old professional hockey coach than that of his home province, in a city just 317 kilometres southeast of his hometown - a place where his family has lived for years upon years? You've likely heard it by now: "Hey Barry, we'll offer you free beer for life if you join the Jets". Yeah, so far, that didn't work out. Why don't you check back in on the Canadian Football League's reigning back-to-back Grey Cup champs, and more precisely, ask Willie Jefferson to say his ever-popular catchphrase. He will tell you where to go. With the abrupt departure of long-serving head coach Paul Maurice midway through the 2021-22 season, the Winnipeg Jets have found themselves in a place of need. No, it didn't work out with Dave Lowry, and Scott Arniel won't be the solution either. The team missed out on Bruce Cassidy, who was on the market for little over six days between his contract termination with the Boston Bruins and his hiring by the Vegas Golden Knights. That move from Kelly McKrimmon's Golden Knights does, however, provide some clarity on where things may go over the next week. With the rumour mill pointing to John Tortorella taking over behind the bench in Philadelphia, and Bruce Cassidy already signing on in Nevada, only the Bruins, Dallas Stars and Detroit Red Wings currently sit alongside Winnipeg as teams without head coaches. Chicago, Edmonton and Florida, however, are each also with 'interim' head coaches, but they will likely all stay on for the coming season. With the Flyers and Golden Knights bowing out of the running for Trotz, Winnipeg has jumped to the top of the list of candidates for the broad shouldered bench boss. Getting his start as a shot caller with his hometown Dauphin Kings of the Manitoba Junior Hockey League, Trotz went on to join the University of Manitoba Bisons before spending a number of seasons within the American Hockey League. He made the jump to the NHL and has worked his way through the official record book to his current place of third place all-time with 914 regular season wins under his belt. After turning the New York Islanders around to become one of the most in-tune defensive teams, GM Lou Lamoriello let Trotz walk with one year remaining on his contract, thanks in large part to his club's failure to have the new UBS Arena ready in time for the season, his club's heavy bout with COVID and a number of key injuries throughout the season. Trotz's firing caught nearly everyone off guard. But the suitors came calling the second his name was moved to the 'available' list. Yes, free beer for life from Little Brown Jug Brewing Company would certainly sound appealing to a good old Manitoban boy of Trotz's stature. But how about something even more up his alley? Pierogies. Or Honey Dill dipping sauce. Maybe free entrance to every wedding social province-wide? What about endless Fat Boy burgers or Winkler sausage for life? We do know that Barry Trotz does enjoy partaking in the odd meal or two, so why not hook him up with a lifetime pass to Salisbury House, Chicken Chef and the Bridge Drive In? Why stop at beer from just one local establishment. Maybe Trotz isn't fond of the signature 1919 Belgian pale ale. He's probably more of a Farmery guy anyways. Why wouldn't ALL of the independent Manitoban breweries team up and get Trotz what he really wants: beer for life from any establishment in the province. And while they're at it, they can check in with some of the truly Manitoban restaurants around town and get him a frequent flyer card to use on any food purchase within Manitoba's 650 square kilometres. Actually, why stop there? Why make Mr. Trotz pay for his travel across the province. He's lived here long enough to know that gas prices rise as the day goes on, so why not hook him up with a loyalty card valid at any Manitoba-based gas station to help him get from A to B. A to B will likely be his dwelling place to Canada Life Centre and back again, but the commute certainly adds up. Not to mention added travel expenses such as flat tires, busted rims and cracked front lips from the city's exceptional street conditions, one would imagine that it would be tough having to pay for food, beer, travel and dipping sauce on a salary north of $5 million annually. And by the way, who wouldn't want to live in a city that hits temperatures colder than the planet Mars in mid-January, annually? We all know it's going to happen, so why not sweeten the pot? Hey Mr. Trotz, come on down to Winnipeg.