Stephen Johns: Suicide is Never the Answer

Former Dallas Stars defenceman Stephen Johns has recently revealed his suicide attempt from three years prior. In a reflective post made to his personal Instagram account on the date of his 30th birthday this past Monday, Johns wrote about dealing with depression and anxiety, while preaching a deterrent against suicide. Johns' April 18, 2022 post is written below: "Today is a weird day for me. It's hard to actually put into words, but I shouldn't be here to see 30. I shouldn't have seen 28 or 29 either. I've struggled for years, dating back to my teenage years. I let my darkness come out in so many different ways over the years, damaging everything in my path. I've lost countless friendships which led me to the emptiness and sickness I wish upon no one. The feelings of reaching the high points in my life and career had no comparison to the lows I was dealing with. And 3 years ago, I wanted it all to be over. Not many people know about my attempt, because I've also kept that burrowed inside for years. but if my story can help 1 person.. then maybe there really is a reason we're all here. I wish I could go back in time, as we all do. But for some reason, I got lucky that day. To anyone out there struggling, it's never too late to turn things around. Suicide is never the answer. No one on this Earth is alone. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255."   Having played parts of four different seasons within the NHL, Johns was forced to back away from hockey following injuries to both his physical and mental health. In June of 2021 he announced via Instagram his next chapter: rollerblading across North America under the hashtag #MentalMiles to help raise funds and awareness for men's mental health. "Someone asked me the other day what I like to do for fun... and I didn’t give him an answer, because I didn’t have one," Johns wrote on June 13, 2021. "I’m writing this post because I’m tired of letting depression destroy my life. The realization that my career has come to an end has really fucked with my identity... What I’ll miss most about the game of hockey is providing inspiration. So, I’ve decided to rollerblade and road-trip across the country to hopefully help others facing their own battles. I’ll be documenting along the way, to share my full story, because I know what it feels like to be alone. For me, I watched one video and it changed my life and made me want to do this crazy thing. If I can still inspire one person to climb out of their hole, then that’s a successful trip and exactly what I’m aiming for. Peace & Love." Then in August, he logged back in amid a lengthy pause from social media, providing an update to his health: "I’ve taken some time off social media since I’ve gotten back from my trip," Johns wrote. "Took some time off the wheels, decompressed a bit and chilled with Chief.. but it’s time to get back to work. I’m still having headaches, anxiety that makes me feel like I’m dying, and and struggling with my depression, but I’m still determined to keep fighting. I’ve done a lot of thinking over the past few months and learned so much. Life is pretty awesome. Meeting new people is pretty dope. And taking a leap of faith at something you want to do can change everything. Like this moment I had in Central Park today. This dude rolled up on his bike and asked if I wanted to race. That made my day and the smile on his face gave me hope that it made his. Thank you all for the continued support. ❤️#MentalMiles"